6. Leading Britain’s Conversation

Over the last few months, my husband has taken to listening to LBC Radio (tagline “leading Britain’s conversation”).  He particularly likes to hear Nick Ferrari in the mornings, who is a very good journalist and known for his ability to skewer a politician.

LBC (like every other news outlet) have been giving the coronavirus pandemic maximum coverage and this is now generally what I wake up to in the morning (except on the odd occasion that I have been completely unable to cope with it, leading to me and my husband arguing with Alexa over turning the radio on and off).

On Day Five, I woke up to Nick Ferrari having a long rant about Prince Harry and his Megan having the cheek to send their thanks to NHS workers the night before (emoji style on their website) all the way from their palatial surroundings in Canada.  Nick told them rather pointedly to stick it.  This was followed by Nick discovering that Prince Harry and his Megan had in fact ‘fled’ to Los Angeles before the borders closed and were sending their thanks from there.  Nick told them they could stuff it from whichever part of the world they were in. I got the distinct impression that he isn’t a fan.  I also got the distinct impression that Nick could probably do with the weekend off and that things might be getting to him a tad.

On Day Six, I woke up to Andrew Castle on LBC wanting to know ‘how are you coping’.  Well Andrew, I thought.  Things aren’t too bad here.  I now just take every opportunity of sleeping through the days and my husband is walking around with his headphones clamped on; that way we do have company but companionable silence.  It’s working for us.

I find constant chatter on the radio a bit irritating after a while and much prefer Radio Two, with the odd catchy tune to lighten the mood.  I know that shows my age and I know that I shouldn’t admit it but I no longer care.  Given that we may not all make it out alive from this, no one will ever remember anyway.

I love Steve Wright in the Afternoon.  I still remember him from my time as a teenager, revising to my exams with him in the background.  I still love listening to him now.  A man emailed into Steve’s show this week to tell Steve that he loved him too, so much in fact that when this is all over, he would buy a dog and call it Steve Wright. Personally, I think that may be taking things too far.  Steve certainly seemed a little unsure as to what to make of it.

Jeremy Vine has had Dr Sue Jarvis on all week, confirming over and over that we should stay at home, protect the NHS and save lives.  On Day Five, Dr Sue was utterly horrified at one listener’s story at how they had been forced to walk past a man fishing on a canal towpath whilst on their time of allowed exercise.  Dr Sue called the said fisherman ‘completely selfish’ and said he should go home.  Whilst I really do get this, I couldn’t help wondering if Dr Sue also needed a weekend at home, free of the questions about self-isolation and the probable extinction of the human race.  

The biggest news of Day Five was of course the horror of learning that the three most important men in the country at this moment (Boris, Matt Hancock and Professor Chris) have all been holding hands far too much and have got the virus.  I don’t understand it.  How could they?  The worst crisis since the second world war and now they are all locked in separate rooms, sulking.  I would have thought that Dr Jenny Harries would have made them play together properly by now? I watched Dr Jenny at Friday’s press briefing at No.10 and could see the exasperation in her eyes.  You just know that she won’t be letting them out of her sight again.

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